A man comes home and finds his wife in bed with another man.
"what the hell are you doing?" he screams.
"See," the wife says to her lover." I told you he was dumb."
A guy sees his ex at a bar and tells her, " I had wild sex with another women last night, but I was thinking of you all the while."
"Oh, so you miss me that much?" she asks.
"No," he says, "but it kept me from coming too fast."
A guy is driving down the street in search of parking place , he looks up and says, " Lord, if you give me a spot, I'll swear off booze for life."
Just then a space appears.
The man looks up again and says, "Never mind - found one!"